I've lost my best friend

Three weeks ago today, June 17, 2009, I lost Jamie a black Standard who was just 3 weeks short of her 8th birthday.
I feel completely blind sided by her death as it took only 10 hours from the time of initial diagnosis to her death, with prior symptoms presenting as only a dimenished appitite for 4 days.
I am a building contractor in Los Angeles who took Jamie to work, traveled, shopped and backpacking every day.
She was the greatest ambassidor to my business that anyone could have.
Clients invited her in the home before me and always had a bowl of water or treats for her. My crews would hold the hose for her and give her a drink. The routine at my office in the morning was for Jamie to jump out of the truck and run to greet each man like a good friend.
Driving the freeways of Los Angeles daily , in congested traffic was ok with me, because Jamie and I could touch and love each other for just that much more time...I didn't care about delays...Even fueling my truck would give me 10 minutes of down time that I could just hug her and she would hummor me with all of my "dad crap" that I put her through.
Always quick on her feet to go with me, she was the most genuine friend that a man could have.When I traveled by air and she stayed home for that time, it was Jamie that I missed and was the reason for returning home.I bought a world phone so I could call the baby sitter and check on her while I was away.
Every Wednesday at 6:30 am was spa day at the office.She was treated and spoiled better that 99% of wives that I know, but she deserved it! The mobil groomer would come, Jamie would greet her like a good friend, run into the van and up on the table to start the weekly routine.With verbal commands, the groomer would ask her to get in the tub, turn around, get out, look up...she just got it..
For her short life, I would take her camping and fishing during the 4th of July to get away from the fireworks of the city. She died 10 days prior to leaving and the trip was very tough on me to go through. No one to sit in my float tube while I fly fished or go on the trail with.
I took her ashes with me, thinking I would spread them some place in the Sierra Nevada mountains, but I could not bear to part with her.
I hurt so much at this loss, it far exceeds any loss that I have had in all of my 52 years, and is exponential magnitude. Only dog lovers seem to get it. I could write an encyclopedia on my feels of love, loss, frustration and sadness, but it won't change the fact that this experience for me is not just a bad dream that I am going to wake up from.
Thanks for reading my ramblings......this all just sucks out loud

Bill McLean
Rancho Palos Verdes, CA